Remember when Steve Martin got a little excited when the new phone book arrived?
I had a similar response when my Ancestry.com DNA kit arrived. Thank you to my children, who purchased it for me for Christmas.
Oh, how I love those green leaves.
It took a while to arrive, as there was an error on Ancestry.com’s part regarding its shipment. So after I waited the allotted time then called them, they quickly mitigated the error and gave me one month’s subscription free, to boot. Nice! (Two hundred years from now, while reading this, my decedent is going to ask, “Why did she just add footwear to that sentence?”)
So the kit arrived, and I made George help me with the process because sometimes when a process is a simple as it can be, I will find a way to complicate it and mess it up. What can I say; I care too much.
Basically, you just use a little funnel to spit into a tube as pictured here, but you can’t have any food or liquid for 30 minutes before. I gave them my first-morning, no coffee spit. I hope the tech who opens the vial is still alive.
Here’s how I can complicate the simple. You expectorate
up to a line, not including bubbles, but you cannot overfill it. Let me repeat: Bubbles don’t count. I had no idea how bubbly morning spit can be.
So that was a thing which I could complicate–judging if I hit the line or not, waiting for bubbles to pop that just sat there because they hadn’t had their morning coffee.
Anyway, you screw on a top and shake it to release a blue liquid. You seal it in a bag and ship it off.
And then you wait.
I believe my results will arrive around mid February.
Here are my guesses. I suspect, from a little research on Ancestry.com, that I have ancestors from the Netherlands. But I’m going to guess that I’m 100% European–no Asian, African, or Native American. I’m going to guess that most of my DNA is from Germany, not just because I’m blonde and blue eyed but because of stereotypes of national or cultural personalities that I have somehow picked up on and associated with. That may sound totally ridiculous; I know.
Here are a few German stereotypes with which I associate (which, by the way, can have both positive and negative applications):
1. Efficient and disciplined. I’m a bit rigid. I thrive on routine. I’m punctual. Clean, neat. List-keeper. Very linear, very task-focused rather than people-focused.
2. Ironic and cynical humor, a bit dry.
4. Could be deemed emotionally cold, but that’s not accurate. I’m just reserved.
5. I love waltz music. That may be reaching, but who else do you know who loves waltz music? I think that loving waltz music must have to be in your DNA somewhere.
So that’s some big stereotyping going on there. No offense intended, of course. I’m just playing a guessing game. And now I need to put the questions on the back burner (Two Hundred Years from Now’s response: “Huh?”) until the results arrive.
Until then, wir sehen uns dann!