The DNA Kit Arrives

Remember when Steve Martin got a little excited when the new phone book arrived?


I had a similar response when my DNA kit arrived. Thank you to my children, who purchased it for me for Christmas.


Oh, how I love those green leaves.

It took a while to arrive, as there was an error on’s part regarding its shipment. So after I waited the allotted time then called them, they quickly mitigated the error and gave me one month’s subscription free, to boot. Nice! (Two hundred years from now, while reading this, my decedent is going to ask, “Why did she just add footwear to that sentence?”)

So the kit arrived, and I made George help me with the process because sometimes when a process is a simple as it can be, I will find a way to complicate it and mess it up. What can I say; I care too much.

Basically, you just use a little funnel to spit into a tube as pictured here, but you can’t have any food or liquid for 30 minutes before. I gave them my first-morning, no coffee spit. I hope the tech who opens the vial is still alive.



Here’s how I can complicate the simple. You expectorate


up to a line, not including bubbles, but you cannot overfill it. Let me repeat: Bubbles don’t count. I had no idea how bubbly morning spit can be.

So that was a thing which I could complicate–judging if I hit the line or not, waiting for bubbles to pop that just sat there because they hadn’t had their morning coffee.

Anyway, you screw on a top and shake it to release a blue liquid. You seal it in a bag and ship it off.

And then you wait.

I believe my results will arrive around mid February.

Here are my guesses. I suspect, from a little research on, that I have ancestors from the Netherlands. But I’m going to guess that I’m 100% European–no Asian, African, or Native American. I’m going to guess that most of my DNA is from Germany, not just because I’m blonde and blue eyed but because of stereotypes of national or cultural personalities that I have somehow picked up on and associated with. That may sound totally ridiculous; I know.

Here are a few German stereotypes with which I associate (which, by the way, can have both positive and negative applications):

1. Efficient and disciplined. I’m a bit rigid. I thrive on routine. I’m punctual. Clean, neat. List-keeper. Very linear, very task-focused rather than people-focused.

2. Ironic and cynical humor, a bit dry.

3. Traditional.

4. Could be deemed emotionally cold, but that’s not accurate. I’m just reserved.

5. I love waltz music. That may be reaching, but who else do you know who loves waltz music? I think that loving waltz music must have to be in your DNA somewhere.

So that’s some big stereotyping going on there. No offense intended, of course. I’m just playing a guessing game. And now I need to put the questions on the back burner (Two Hundred Years from Now’s response: “Huh?”) until the results arrive.

Until then, wir sehen uns dann!



4 thoughts on “The DNA Kit Arrives

  1. So funny! Now, I know nothing of your ancestry, but I’m going to throw in my two cents just for kicks and giggles: you sound a bit Norwegian to me, so I’m going to guess that you have a bit of Scandinavian in your double helix.


    • Interesting! I really don’t know what I’m talking about, of course. I’m just guessing via stereotypes, which is something emotionally intelligent people try not to do! I may have asked you before, but do you know about your ancestry?


      • I didn’t realize you got the comments working (Kudos!!!) and responded. I’ve been told that I’m Scotch-Irish, which is, so I was told by a geography professor, much rarer than Scotch or Irish. Do I remember what it actually means? Heavens no. I can’t remember if I ate lunch. Also, I’ve been told that Pocahontas is my “8th-great” grandmother. However, as a fourth grader, that tid-bit didn’t seem juicy enough. So, I told everyone that we had her journal (JOURNAL…go big or go home with the lies, amiright?!!!) and that Ball State had asked to study it, but my family was concerned it’d get damaged, so we kept it in hiding. So, I guess all that is to say that I know next to nothing about my ancestry πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s